Saturday, August 8, 2009

Terrible Twenty Two Months

Tate is a turd toddler testing his boundaries. He is really driving me crazy challenging my parenting skills lately. At twenty-two months he is acting like a rotten two-year-old advanced for his age.

Ok, I am throwing away my PR instincts, and I am just gonna tell it like it is. Tate has a 'tude and it's gotta stop.

He has been going through a phase for about two months where he likes to swing at me. Sometimes he actually smacks me, but most of the time he stands about two feet away and waves his arms in a way that looks like he is casting a spell. We've tried "timeout," but he practically skips to put himself in it. We've tried the evil eye, but he usually tries to imitate it which just makes me laugh. But not today. Today I reached my limit. Today I decided enough was enough. Today he intentionally hit me hard on the face and today I swiftly swatted him on his diaper-covered bottom. It was a soft swat, but his face was stunned, and he ran to timeout (I didn't even have to say "go to timeout") and then sat there and sniffled. And then I felt awful. I told him it was OK to come out of timeout, and he ran and gave me a huge hug. Then he ran to Rob and gave Rob a huge hug. Then he hugged his pull-along-puppy toy. Then he hugged the pile of towels I Rob had just folded. Then he started calling for the cat because he wanted to hug her, too. It was like Jimmy Stewart at the end of It's a Wonderful Life.

And he didn't act up again the rest of the day.

So go ahead and report me to CPS. My child is behaving again.

8 comments:

Leslie said...

You gotta do what you gotta do to survive. Our parents,grandparents, and other people our age got a good swat now and then and we all became (for the most part) good upstanding citizens. Abby doesn't hate us yet for the swats she has had. I'll let you how her therapy sessions go when she is a teenager.

KJ Druyvesteyn said...

Did Landon learn his 'tude from Tate? He has been sporting a big one himself lately and his biggest offense is the hitting also. The TO's don't work for him either--he too just sits and sings or tries to make faces at me. Stink eye doesn't work...but the good 'ole fashioned swat on the thigh is my best option. I don't get the hugs at the end though...that's pretty sad.

pink is the new black said...

GIrl, at least you have something that works! Graelyn laughed at me when I swatted her last time! UGH...Gwen HATES time outs...simply because I make her go to her room...of course that's after I tell her to go and she says "NO!" and then I really get mad, I mean, frustrated and carry her in there:) Hang in there, when he's 4 1/2 it won't be better:) well, maybe;)

Jennifer said...

I think the real winner in this story is Rob for folding towels!

emjay said...

I'm not going to report you to CPS but I am reporting you to the "How To Raise a Good Kid who is liked by other people!" Congratulations. You got swatted on the butt occasionally and look how great you are!

Beth said...

Cutting and pasting your blog entry to my parenting upcoming book, "Spank Early or Pay later."

Beth said...

Obviously, I need a proof-reader ASAP. My coming parenting book...capitalize the "L" in "later." Can also provide advice on "Napping 101: How to keep napping even when your kid drop theirs"

Sarah said...

Hey...I'll tell you the story of Margaret, as a two and a half year old, and the realization of what works with her...but it probably shouldn't be typed as it would seem meaner than it really is. I won't say, "Don't feel bad about the swat" because I know what that guilty feeling feels like...but, know that you are making a point when you use it sparingly like that. I've been in your exact shoes, lady!!