So at the end of this fantastically peaceful meal, I tried to pull Tate out of his highchair. I was in an awkward position, so I put him back down in the chair and started to walk around to get on the other side of him. Of course the very second he was unbuckled and I was out of reach, he immediately started trying to get out on his own. This resulted in him sliding down the chair so that his head was on the seat and his body was dangling. He started to scream. I jump over to the front and try to pull him out, but he's stuck. He starts to scream more. The two cops jump up. One of them grabs his head. The other one grabs his legs. They try to pull him out through the bottom of the chair. His head gets stuck. He screams louder. A business guy from the next table jumps up. He says "Wait! I have a two year old and know what to do!" He helps bend and maneuver Tate while one cop is holding the chair and other one is holding Tate's legs. They finally get Tate out, I grab him, hug him and look around to find the entire restaurant in silence and staring.
Yep, I take one day off to stay home with Tate and we need police intervention.
Oh, and in case you're wondering, Rob was watching the whole time. (But in all honesty, the way our table was positioned, he couldn't have gotten to Tate if he tried. The cops were much closer).
17 comments:
I think you should scan a stick figure drawing onto the blogpost, with sequencing, for edification of your loyal readers. :)
So did you slip them a card after that and let them know that you'd love it if they'd choose FedEx to handle all of their shipping needs?
OMG. Please tell me you bought their lunch!?!
A quick tip from BG's best selling "Parenting - Who says it has to be Difficult?" (Second Edition)
If you let them hang there for a little bit, eventually they will pass out and go limp at which point they slide right out.
No need to thank me! Glad to be of help.
Jenny!!! OMG! Only you...but I have to say that my favorite part was that Rob was just sitting there the whole time...Seth might have done the SAME thing...you didn't need to clarify really...and Emjay and Big Guy continue to make me laugh, even after 30 years of knowing them...yeah, 30 years Jenn...how is it possible that we are still friends and actually LIKE each other...we deserve an award...or at least another margarita night...SOON! I still have GHS stories girl!
Hey Pink, I'll buy the margaritas if I can hear the GHS stories! (JJ, ignore BG's advice.)
Don't trust MJ.. she's all about buying lunch for donut eating policemen and TARP bonus taking businessmen.. chances of her BUYING margaritas is slim (drinking them is another matter entirely).
And I'm proud to see that both Rob and Seth are followers of BG's Parenting guide. There's still hope for the next generation.
I meant buying one for me and one for Pink, if she tells me the stories. So happy to know that Rob, Seth and BG are all alike - stand back and let the mamas take care of things!!!
MJ, exactly...they ARE good at standing...around, back, by away, etc...as for the margaritas...I"m IN, but I think in terms of blackmail, you might want to hear the church camp stories, NOT the high school stories...you forget, Jenny was SOOO GOOD in HS...she's a smarty pants and the sweetest thing to hit GHS really...and that's the truth...as for church camp and boys in Tennessee, that MIGHT be another story...but I'll need that margarita (or 4 first) and in all fairness...Jenny should be in on it and have her own margaritas and stories to share...let's face it...church trips and camps were the MOST fun we probably had as teenagers:) oh wait, and you too MJ!!!
Were the cops hot?
OMG. . . I'm lmao. The father of the 2 year old cracks me up - like his kid does this all the time?
P.S. Sign me up for the 'rita. Only can we have it on a beach somewhere?
P.S.S. Well, WERE the cops hot?
Too funny everyone!
Greg -- yes, I actually considered stick figures because the story is so hard to explain! You had to be there to truly experience the chaos.
Sarah -- I did not slip them a card because as the PR person for FedEx, I would not approve of myself representing the company the way I looked that day.
Emjay -- I did not buy their lunch. They had the privilege of being in the presence of Tate. Isn't that enough? They're lives are now richer.
Ang -- I MUST hear the GHS stories!! I saw all the pics on FB. But no margaritas for you if church camp stories are gonna come out!
Big Guy -- So much about my childhood is becoming clear to me now that I am receiving parenting advice from you...
Rebekah -- They were more Barney Miller than Miami Vice. And I didn't know you had a thing for cops....I thought actuaries were more your thang.
Aunt Kathy -- I am game for margaritas any time!!!
And before Emjay publicly corrects me on my use of "they're" -- it should have been "THEIR lives are now richer."
SHOOT! I was hoping to respond before Jenny did...I wanted to know if they were hot cops or if they were Hot Cops...as in Gob from Arrested Development. If they were Hot Cops that may have been why Rob just sat there and watched?
Shoot Jen, I wasn't going to embarrass you by correcting your grammar. Love, Your Grammar.
Bek, if you like hot cops, Seth has a friend in VA...wait, he's getting married this summer but we don't really approve...there's still a chance...wait, you're married, nevermind:)
Jenn, no worries friend, those church camp stories are safe with me...I promise to NEVER tell...now I KNOW all your readers are wishing they went to a Presbyterian church camp! That's right folks!
And as for Aunt Kathy...I was LMAO too...love that term by the way...should use it more:)
I wasn't just sitting there. I was sitting there saying, "What the hell are you doing, Jenny? He's gonna get stuck...he's gonna get -- oh hell, wait a second, I'll get him...excuse me, excuse me...sorry, could you move in just a bit...settle down, Tate, I'm coming...oh, thanks officers...there we go. Jenny, can you take him...hey, where are you going? Don't leave me here! What? Why do I have to stay and pay? Jenny...wait! [Jenny's out the door with Tate, leaving me alone with everyone staring at me as I straighten my collar and take my seat]. *ahem* Check, please?"
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